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Old 04-06-2011, 02:43 PM   #61
POL
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

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Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
Good one!

A hydrogen ion walks into a bar. The bartender sees him and says, "You don't look so hot. Are you okay?" The H+ says, "Well, I think I just lost an electron." "Really, are you sure?" says the bartender. The H+ says, "Dude, I'm positive."
LMAO. One of my favorite techy is "there are only 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that know binary and those that don't"
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Old 04-06-2011, 03:10 PM   #62
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

a man comes home and shouts "honey pack your bags, i hit the lottery!!"
she says " oh my god! what should i pack?"
he says "EVERYTHING.. GET THE F@#K OUT BITCH!"
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Old 04-06-2011, 05:29 PM   #63
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

Why do men name their weiners?


we don't want a stranger making all of our decisions for us
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Old 04-06-2011, 05:29 PM   #64
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

Why do women fake orgasms? (2 answers available)




1) because men fake foreplay

2) they think we care
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Old 04-06-2011, 05:30 PM   #65
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

Why are blondes like spaghetti?




they both wriggle when you eat them
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Old 04-06-2011, 05:52 PM   #66
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

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Why do women fake orgasms? (2 answers available)




1) because men fake foreplay

2) they think we care


A guy comes home from work one day and he sits on the couch and says to his wife, hurry, get me a beer before it starts.....she thought this was weird but she was like, what the hell, I will do it anyways, so she got him a beer and about five minutes later, he yells again, "hurry, get me another beer before it starts" so she brings him another one and think that its just odd. Then about five minutes later, he yells "hurry, get me another beer before it starts!" and she gets up and starts to yell at him, " I CLEAN THIS HOUSE ALL DAY AND TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME? YOU COME HOME, NOT EVEN SAY HI TO ME, AND YOU SIT IN FRONT OF THE TV AND MAKE ME GET YOU BEER!" The guy says, "oh shit, it started.........."
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Old 04-06-2011, 07:05 PM   #67
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

A Hillbilly went hunting one day in Georgia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like hillbillies.

The game warden ordered the hillbilly to show his hunting license; the hillbilly pulled out a valid Georgia hunting license.

The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, 'This duck ain't from Georgia. This is a Tennessee duck. You got a Tennessee huntin' license, boy?'

The hillbilly reached in to his wallet and produced a Tennessee hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt,and said 'This ain't no Tennessee duck. This duck's From Mississippi. You got a Mississippi license?'

The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Mississippi hunting license.

The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said,


'This ain't no Mississippi duck. This here duck's from South Carolina .. You got a South Carolina huntin' license?'

Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a South Carolina hunting license.

The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly, 'Boy, just where the hell are you from?'

The hillbilly turned around, dropped his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and said, 'You tell me. You're the expert.'
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Old 04-07-2011, 08:00 AM   #68
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

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LMAO. One of my favorite techy is "there are only 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that know binary and those that don't"
Why is Hallowe'en the same as Christmas?


Because OCT 31 = DEC 25
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Old 04-07-2011, 07:36 PM   #69
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

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Why is Hallowe'en the same as Christmas?


Because OCT 31 = DEC 25
Nerds abound.
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― Frederic Bastiat, The Law
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Old 04-07-2011, 08:42 PM   #70
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

Statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
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Old 04-07-2011, 08:48 PM   #71
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

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Why is Hallowe'en the same as Christmas?


Because OCT 31 = DEC 25
okay, i have tried and tried and cannot figure this one out. Help please???
Mike
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Old 04-07-2011, 09:19 PM   #72
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

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okay, i have tried and tried and cannot figure this one out. Help please???
Mike
Use a scientific calculator

Dec 25 = Oct 31

decimal is base 10
octal is base 8
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Old 04-07-2011, 09:48 PM   #73
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common????

Their Biggest Hit was the WALL
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Old 04-07-2011, 09:49 PM   #74
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

What is the difference between Jerry Garcia and Mickey Mantle???

Four days.
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Old 04-07-2011, 09:51 PM   #75
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Re: Jokes Thread, let's have a laugh!!

In decimal, place values are ... 1,000 100 10 1.

In octal, place values are ... 512 64 8 1

Thus 31 in octal is 3x8 + 1, or 25 in decimal (2x10 + 5).
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