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Old 06-23-2004, 02:19 PM   #1
Dive4Blood
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Talking The Steelslinger's Dictionary

There are a multitude new members that have recently registered on Spearboard. Many have probably scratched their head in puzzlement at some of the terms which are freely used by some of the more established members. In an effort to bring inclusiveness to all, I provide you with a definition of some of the more popular terms. I will include synonyms, and sentence examples if applicable. This by no means is a complete lexicon of verbage used by spearos so please feel free to add to the "language" as you see fit. Enjoy.

banana hammock- A bikini brief Speedo brand garment popular with those who freedive. Also known as a Key West slingshot, pickle sling, bone bag, and grape smuggler.

bayliner - The preferred transport mechanism of a cone.

bone -The result of surfacing from a dive with absolutely no fish. Refers to either the stringer or the dive itself. The frustrated steelslinger handed up the bone to the guy at the transom after surfacing from one of Financial Advis' "secret" wrecks.

break - 1. A ledge. 2. A method of early 80's hip-hop dancing frequently performed by Rich Hermes on downtown Tampa sidewalks.

cone -Usually refers to a clueless hook and liner who enjoys stealing spots from divers, and is a general danger to himself, and all around him. Uses Penn 6/0 reels with ready made Wal Mart steel leader grouper rigs to catch grunts.

Ed Sullivan- A "really big show" on the depth recorder. Original phrase used by variety show host of the same name in the 50's and 60's.

groundskeepering -Used as a verb. To sink. After being hit by the torpedo from the Nazi U-Boat, the merchant marine ship began groundskeepering badly.

gunnel hunch - A method of elimination on vessels not equipped with marine heads. The gunnel huncher positions himself by pressing the back of the lower legs against the inside rail of the gunnel. With testicles resting comfortably on the fiberglass gel coat, the gluteus maximus can then be gingerly extended above the waterline to complete the action.

haircut- A poorly placed shot above the spinal column near the head of the fish in which the spear tears out. The fish is left with raggedy exposed white flesh resembling a Billy Idol haircut. Fish usually swims rapidly in a 180 degree angle away from you in response to receiving a haircut.

Hell on Earth- The one to two hours it takes to unload a vessel of dive gear, tanks, and fish after a full weekend trip to the Middle Grounds averaging 14 minutes of sleep each night.

hoop - A stringer

H.O.D.- Hoop Of Death. A stringer loaded with so many fish that it takes two people to lift into the boat, or to cause the diver to look as if he/she is suffering from severe hemorrhoids when posing for a picture with said stringer.

jolly dog- One of the most sublime delicacies that can ever be eaten. Usually served on the charterboat Jolly Rogers 2 most Friday nights. Jolly Dog dinners have been known to sell for the yen equivalent of $500 per plate in some exclusive Tokyo restaurants. Can result in explosive gas for those predisposed.

Key West Butt Tickler- A facial hair style worn by those that sport banana hammocks. Made popular in the 70's by the bushy mustaches of Freddie Mercury, Mark Spitz, Tom Selleck, and Burt Reynolds, all icons revered in the gay community. Much like the bioluminescent lure of a deep sea anglerfish, the Speedo wearer uses his Key West Butt Tickler to entice same sex spawning partners while prancing about Duval Street.

liquid toilet paper- The use of a salt water washdown after gunnel hunching.

man in the grey suit - A shark. During my ten minute deco stop, I was visited by the man in the grey suit. Possessing only a 36 Sea Hornet, I involuntarily gunnel hunched.

newbie - A beginning diver. Also known as strokes, cloud kickers, googans, or air-80's (because of the use of aluminum 80 cu ft tanks with compressed air). Depending on context can be used derisively, or as a term of endearment.

rat poison - 21% nitrox. Normorphic compressed air.

rodeo-ing - The art of shooting large amberjack or cobia in the tail area.

sand dollar recovery - What you will be doing all day if you piss off the captain and/or crew.

"secret" wreck - The Holy Grail of all "secret" wreck junkies, many of whom find nothing wrong with giving up their life savings or performing fellatio on an orangutan in order to obtain these coordinates. The possessor of "secret wrecks" however has usually already traded these coordinates with a minimum of 100 other people before transacting with the wreck junkie.

show - The display of fish on a depth recorder.

steelslinging - A Zen like state achieved underwater by a constant repetition of shooting, stringing fish, and reloading.

stone - 1. The act of instantly killing a fish with the impact of a spear. 2. The end result of placing "tobacco" products in your Turkish water pipe while reading Spearboard after a long day of steelslinging.

AJ Suarez

Last edited by Dive4Blood; 06-24-2004 at 06:35 AM.
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Old 06-23-2004, 02:35 PM   #2
Dive4Blood
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Disclaimer
The reference to any Spearboard member either implied or in name is in jest only. Please do not be offended .

AJ Suarez
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Old 06-23-2004, 02:55 PM   #3
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funny stuff.............



why does 21% Nitrox get the "Rat Poison" label ?
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Old 06-23-2004, 03:15 PM   #4
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Bravo, AJ!! An instant classic, LMAO!
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Old 06-23-2004, 03:27 PM   #5
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Thanks, I needed that!
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Old 06-23-2004, 03:30 PM   #6
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“If the natural tendencies of mankind are so bad that it is not safe to permit people to be free, how is it that the tendencies of these organizers are always good? Do not the legislators and their appointed agents also belong to the human race? Or do they believe that they themselves are made of a finer clay than the rest of mankind?”
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Old 06-23-2004, 03:44 PM   #7
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Top notch again AJ.
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Old 06-23-2004, 03:57 PM   #8
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Perfect timing.
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Old 06-23-2004, 07:20 PM   #9
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good stuff AJ
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Old 06-23-2004, 07:36 PM   #10
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Adding in a couple of other ones..

Fat Boys - LP 120 tanks pumped to 4100 psi's.

Hail Mary - Shooting at an AJ 13 feet away on a 10 foot line shaft.

Commando - Forgetting your banana hammock under your wetsuit.

ICBM - In Coming B*tch Magnet

Bug - Slathered in melted butter, the tastiest fruit of the seas
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Last edited by Johnoly; 06-23-2004 at 07:41 PM.
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Old 06-23-2004, 07:47 PM   #11
richhermes
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My fat ass break dancing, now there was a sight to behold!
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Old 06-23-2004, 08:07 PM   #12
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Anchor Bitch: The diver with the unfortunate luck to have the latest birth date of the group. The Anchor Bitch is typically relegated to pulling up 400' of anchor line while trying to keep from going headfirst over the bow of a boat traveling 10 knots in 4' seas, while the remaining divers sit in the back, drink beer, and laugh at his sorry ass.
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Old 06-23-2004, 09:26 PM   #13
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funny stuff aj
bulldog :to grab others tank from behind shake I put the bulldog on that ass
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Old 06-23-2004, 09:26 PM   #14
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Definetly a classic. That one is going in my Loran book.
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Old 06-24-2004, 07:33 AM   #15
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I'm telling you A.J. you missed your calling brother. You should be writing for comedy central. Good stuff!
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